Grieving well is hard work… like trudging through thick molasses. It is slow, it is painful, and it can be utterly exhausting. And so it is with some hesitation that I take the incredibly personal journey of grief and write some of my own and other’s experiences in broad generalities; however, when I was in the throes of grief early on in my journey and struggling to find any words at all for what I was experiencing, it was a post similar to this that first gave me hope that I would make it through. As some truths have seemed to float to the surface the last few years, it is with this in mind that I write the following, in a different style than usual, hoping that this too may be a beacon of encouragement and light for the weary traveler.
1. You will face times of loneliness… but if you let God walk each step with you, you will find a path to communion and belongingness deeper than any human could ever offer. He created you, He knows every part of you, and He is sovereignly and gently leading you each moment of each day. He is not afraid of your pain, and He is big enough to handle any emotion and situation you bring to Him. Learn to let Him be the first place you run to, and trust Him as the wisest, kindest, and safest space you will find ever find.
2. You may experience feelings of deep insecurity… but as you heal, the Lord will build new, stronger foundations. Your world – or at least a part of it – has been ripped out from under you, and insecurity is a natural feeling as you are finding new ground to put your feet on. Let the Lord guide you in this, and let the new truths and promises He teaches you be the place you confidently live from.
3. People cannot heal your wounds… but God still gave us people because we need them. Find a faithful few who can provide a safe place and remind you of Truth and point you to the One who can heal your wounds. They will not do it perfectly, but let them do the best they can.
*If you don’t have those people right now, ask God to provide them. If you are struggling to get through your grief, seek out pastors, counselors, mentors, friends or support groups that can walk with you. We were never meant to walk alone.
4. You will never be the same again… but as you let the Lord’s healing in, you will find your heart becoming more like His. Grief will change you; it is inevitable. And you will discover new things about yourself – some that you like and some that you don’t. Let God’s goodness and truth, his compassion and love wash over those places as He gently grows you and brings you into a more genuine faith.
5. You cannot go back to the “way things were” before the loss… but God will bring you into a new normal. It will be different, but it will still be marked with immense beauty. Stay in the process – even on the hard days, weeks, or months – and let Him bring about His goodness, peace, joy and restoration.
6. Time does not heal all wounds… but God will heal all wounds in time. Grief is a journey – often a long one. You may think that you have completely healed in an area only to find hidden wounds emerging years later, asking to be gently examined again, cleansed and healed. As hard as it is, don’t rush the process, and don’t put yourself on a timeline. Take time in each season and each wave that will come to let the Lord do His healing work. Take time to be honest with Him about your feelings and let Him love you through His Word, worship, and sitting in His presence. He is our ultimate prize, and He has given everything to win you back to Him…
“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
O Israel, the One who formed you says,
‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.’”
Isaiah 43:1-4
*Just a few of many Bible verses for each of these truths:
- Psalm 139
- Psalm 18:30-50
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11
- 1 Peter 1:6,7
- Romans 8:28, Psalm 23
- Psalm 147:3, Isaiah 42:1-7
katie shaw ficker 
Thank you for sharing!! I look forward to reading more about your journey.