Hope after Loss & Trauma

In 2015, our twins went to the arms of the Father after a six month battle for life during a complicated pregnancy in which all three of us almost left this earth a few times. In the aftermath of grief and trauma, I fought through confusion, questions and the entire spectrum of emotions as I sought to find God in the middle of it all. And He was so faithful to come each and every single time I turned to Him. There was nothing too big or too small for Him and no place that I could go where He was not already there waiting for me.

The journey required me to meet God in a place of solitude and rediscover true intimacy and learn to trust again as I tried to put my world back together. I battled fears, anxiety, sorrow, and loneliness, but where I feared indifference, a pep talk or condescending disgust, I instead found a God who truly cared and wanted to know me and be known by me. As I sought answers for my many questions and longed for quick fixes for the pain and grief, He reminded me that His presence alone is enough. And as I learned to grieve and let go of the various losses, I stood in amazement as He redeemed each one of them.

And praise God that while only He can redeem those deep, inner places, He knew that we would need the body of Christ – the church – to encourage us back to truth, hope, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. He continuously brought people and resources my way. They could not tell me whether I would face more loss here on this earth or not, but they could speak out the truth and goodness of the sovereign Lord who holds all life in His hands. They could not provide the healing that my heart needed, but they could remind my heart of who the true Healer is. They could not provide the perfect love that ultimately casts out all fear, but they could provide a safe place to process through fears and doubts as perfect love swept in to cast out another lie and place of fear. They never pretended to be the Savior, but they did testify endlessly of the Savior who gave everything to make me His.

I pray this will be a place where you too can find the encouragement you need to keep running back into the arms of the Father who sees your pain, comes to sit with you in it, and then bring about your own story of His great redemption and love.